REENA'S JOKE:-
Dil ka kaha ek kaam kar do,
Pyari si muskurahat mere naam kar do,
Aaj duniya pe ek ehsaan kar do,
Aaj subah ghar se naha ke niklo,
Aur pure mohalle ko hairan kar do……..
2
Soory to say---
Maine tumhe kaode utarte dekha tha, tumne ek dam se sare kapde utar diye the. Plz tum dheere-dheere utara karo, nahi to___________________________ _______________________________________rassssi toot jayegi…
3
Tum dosti ka wo daag ho , jise hum TIDE se nahi dho sakte,
RIN se saaf nahi kar sakte,
Surf-EXEL se mita nahi sakte,
Kyonki “kuchh daag achhchhe lagte hain”……….
4
Teacher - Dhritrashtra ke 100 putra the,Pandav ke sirf 5 aisa kyon?
Student – Sir, kyonki jinki aankhain hoti hain,unhe aur bhi kaam hote hain……
5
Faqeer – Allah ke naam pe dedo baba.
Aadmi – maaf karo baba.
Faqeer – beta kuchh to do.
Aadmi – achchha baba, jo ye sms padh raha hai useko le jao.
Faqqer – Bheekh mangi thi Bhikhari nahi……….
6
Mere sugar se meethe,
Milk se gore,
Sky se unche,
Patal se gahre,
Barf se thande,
Aag se garm,
Aur sabse se Besarm,
Dost ko,
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
7
Aaj aapse koi baat kare,
Apki tareef kare,
Apko smart kahe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
To use jor see ek thappad marna,
Uski himmat kaise hui………………………….
…………………….”First April” se pahle mazak karne ki…………
8
Jis bus me baithi ho hasinaye,
Us bus ke sise chatak hi jate hain,
Driver chahe kitni bhi tej chalale bus,
Diwane to phir bhi latak hi jate hain………..
9
Doctor – bolo kya taklif hai?
mareej – sote waqt saas ko lene me taklif hoti hai.
Doctor – aaj se sote waqt________________________
____________saas ko nahi ???????????????????
Sali ko lekar sona..
10
Washing power NIRMA,
NIRMA
Doodh si safedi nirma se aayi,
Rangeen kapda bhi khil-khil jaye
Washing power nirma
Nirrma
Pagalo ko kuchh bhi bhejo ____________padhane lag jate hain..
11
What has Technology done??????????????
Ek time wo tha jab message kabootar se bhejte the,
Aur ek aaj ka time hai jab hum SMS kabutaron ko bhejte hain……..
12
Khawab ki tarah tujhe saja ke rakhun,
Chandni raat ki najro se bacha ke rakhun,
Meri kismet mere sath nahi warna,
Jindgi bhar tujhe murga bana ke rakhun…….
13
Ek jamana tha jab subah kukuruku karke murge hamain jagate the,
Aur ab ek aaj ka jamana dekho,,,, Humain SMS karke murgon ko jagana padta hai………
14
Apki kanjusi dil ko bha gayi,
Hume bhi phone ke balance ki keemat samajh aa gayi,
Socha ab apko msg na kare,
Par ye dosti kambkhat phir yaad aa gayi…..
15
Cat: how old are u?
Elephant: 5 years.
Cat: itni si age main itna bada sarir, kaise?
Elephant: Iam a complane BOY. But how old are you?
Cat: 30 years.
Elephant: itni badi age me bas itni si hi body.
Cat: I take JHANDU KESRI JEEVAN CHWANPRASH
"Badhti umra mano tham si jaye.
16
Janwaron ki party me chuha 4 peg leke set tha.
Billi- aaj party na hoti to main tujhe kha jati,
Chuha- ja chali ja, nahi to log kahenge ki pee
ke aurat pe hath utha diya ………..
17
Life of a student:-
PC hai net nahi,
ATM hai paise nahi,
Cell hai balance nahi,
Exam hai tension nahi,
Padhana hai lakin ……….saala…….. mood nahi!!!!!!!!!!!
18
____,,________________
/ / \
/ / \ ;‘; ,
/ / \ ,‘ ‘,’ ’ ;
/____________________/ ______ \ ,’ ,‘,’,’ , ”;
| | | ; ; ,’,’, ’, ; ;
| | __ | ‘,‘ , ; , ;;’’
| | | | | | )(
|,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, |,,,,|,,|,,|,,,,| ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, )(,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
This lovely house gift from me to you. So go inside and sleep well aur babu aaj se road pe sona band. Kyon gift kaisa laga gud night with this huge gift…………
19
Aaj mausam me ajeeb si baat hai ,
Bekabu se hamare bekabu se khayalat hai,
Jee chahta hai chura lu tumko tumhi se,
Par mummy kahti hai ki –“Beta chori karna paap hai..”
20
Rabit ke 12th me 75% aur tortoise ke 50% marks aaye. Phir bhi totoise ka admission college me ho gaya..kyon…??????????????????????sport quota. Bachpan me race nahi jeetu thi kya…..
21
Munna- a cirkit! Baris k waqt bijli kyon kadkti hai??
Circit- bhai bole to God torch marke dekhta hoga ki kahin
Sookha to nahi rah gaya……
22
Aapko miss karna roj ki baat hai,
Apko yaad karna adat ki baat hai,
Apse door rahna kismet ki baat hai,
Magar apko jhelna himmat ki baat hai..
23
Pass this advise to all girls :
do not play with street dogs, u may get rabies.
And do not play with smart boys u may getbabies..!
Means Boys ROCK ……………(AMIT)
24
Aankhon me aanshun aa jate hain,
Phir bhilabon pe hansi rakhani padti hai,
Ye haal tabhi hota hai yaaro,
Jab lambe safar me su-su rokni padti hai……
25
Mera no. change ho gaya hai…
Underwear ka..
Agar meri purani underwear chahiye to le lena..
Are pagal thanks bolke rulayega kya…….
26
Girl pray to GOD- plz God let me love an intelligent boy.
God- soory my child that is impossible, intelligent boy never love any girl
27
Aaj ki taja khabar……..
Pappu ne apni sagai tod di…..
Kyonki ladki ‘kuwari’ thi…
Pappu bola- jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi ho payi..
……wo meri kya hogiii……….
28
In a park two lovers eating chips by lookinginto each others eyes.
Girl – dear, what are you thinking right now?
boy –tu mujhse jyada chips kha rahi hai ,Bhookhi’…
29
ladki ko dekhkar ladka bola- “aa dil me sama ja.”
Ladki boli - chappal utarun kya??
Ladka bola – hat pagli mera dil hai koi mandir nahi chappal se hi aaja!!!!!
30
Dil ke arman anshuon me bah gaye,
Hum gali the gali me hi rah gaye,
Mauke pe wo kambkhat light bhi chali gayi,
Or andhere me hum aapke papa ko ILU kah gaye…..
31
I love u, Do u love me. Plz reply
……………….
Shahjahan ne Mumtaj se puchha tha lekin
Usne reply nahi diya.
Why??
Kyonki use english nahi aati thi…..
32
Ek ladka lagatar ladki ka pichha kar raha tha.
Ladki- tumhe pata hai pichhe meri maa aa rahi hai.
Ladka- hum to khandani ashiq hain,
Tumhari maa k pichhe mera baap aa raha hai…..
33
Sardar apni biwi se-kya yah roj-rij palak ki hi sabji khilati ho..
Sardarni- paalak me iron hota hai jii..
Sardar- to kya meri boddi se “TMT” sariya banayegiii!!!!!!
34
Mukesh ambani said to anil ambani
“ I want to kiss your wife”
Anil replied- “ OK but 40 paise per minute”.
Wife souted-“don’t cheet him, Relaince to Relaince free hai”!!!
35
Dosto aaj hum ek ajeebo-gareeb prani k bare me padhenge..
Is jantu ka naam hai “GIRLFRIEND”
Ji haan girlfriend.
Ye aksr boyfriend k saath payi jati hai.
Iska postik aahar boyfriend ka bheja hota hai.
Inhe aksar naraj hone ka natak karte huye dekha jata hai.
Is prani ka sabse khatarnak hathiyar Rona or Emotion hain….
36
Utho aalshiyo aur desh ka bhala karo…
…………..
……………..
Achchha tum ho !!?? Sorry tum to wapas so jao usi me desh ki bhalayi hai…….
37
3 dot kullu, gullu and ullu:
Kullu 8th me padh rha hai,
Gullu 5th me padh rha hai,
Aur
Ullu sms padh rha hai….
38
Happy new year 2010 in advance.
Bcoz , kabirdasji kahte hain.
Kaal kare so aaj kar,
Aaj kare so ab,
Network busy ho jayega,
Phir wish karega kab.
39
Jee karta hai aapke paas aaun,
Aapke paas aake jara ruk jaon,
Na bithun na bolun,
Bas aapki aankhon me …
….santre ka chhilka nichod k bhaag jaaun,,,,,,,,,
40
6 fayde grlfrnd hone k..
1. Time kli bacht
2. achhi neend
3. Koi miss cal nahi
4. Koi chinta nahi
5. No boring sms
6. Koi safaai nhi ki no busy kyon hta………….
41
Nvr kiss a police woman, C’ll say- “stop! Handsup”
Nvr kiss a nurse C’ll say- “next plz”
Always kiss a teacher, C’ll say- Rept it 10 times & Do it properly…..
42
Girl- papa ek ladka mujhe bar bar I luv u bol rha hai
Father- beta us se shadi kar le ,
jindgi bhar agr dobara bol de to mera naam bada dena
43
To
The dost,
I miss u
Oye
Hello I beg 2 say dat , I m a student of ur heart . I m lonely, meraji nahi lag rha ,
so kindly grant me sms.
Thank u
44
Bikhari- sab 6 rupees dedo coffee pina hai
Man- kyu 1 coffee to 3 rupees ki hai,
Bikhari- sab sath me girlfrnd b hai,
Man- bikhari hokar b grlfrnd bna li,
Bikhari- nahi sab grlfrnd ne bikhari bana diya…
45
(Budha ek ladki se takraya)
Budha- sorry
Girl- stupid.
(tabhi 1 ladka ladki se takraya)
Boy- sorry
Girl- its ok.
Budha- meri sorry ki spelling glat thi kya??
46
Mere pas ek bandar aaya or kaha-
Mujhe logon ko paresan karna hai.
Maine aapka naam bataya,
To us ne thappad mara or bola-
BOSS se panga nahi lene ka!!!